85 Lessons Learned plus 15 more
by summersfall789
Summary: Haven't written in a while. Decided to jump on the bandwagon & start again with something easy. These lessons are accumlative over the length of the series. Encompasses everything in the Supernatural & its AU aka conventions/interviews
1. 85 Lessons Learned

1. Sam & Dean's relationship is "effervescent". Take that anyway you wish.

2. Rock salt really does rock.

3. Never trust demons. No matter if stretched out on the floor of a hot bartender's parent's basement or EVEN if her lisp is cute. No trust = No archangel death match. Simple.

4. There are no such things as unicorns.

5. "STOP! NO ONE'S KILLING ANY VIRGINS!" is, always and forever, a good piece on the advice.

6. Classic Rock is (and should be mandatory for) goodness for the soul.

7. Never throw away amulets. Just don't do it.

8. I believe in angry sex.

9. I need to send Sera Gamble a thank you note.

10. A baritone, gravelly voice giving game show answers in Japanese = UFN!

11. Never pistol whip Bobby F*cking Singer in the face. No good can come from it. What the hell's the matter with you!

12. Don't joke with an angel who's on the last of his pre-paid minutes.

13. Jensen volunteered Dean to wear ass-less chaps in an upcoming Western episode 2 years ago. ...Yet we're still waiting.

14. _That_ Industry is built on absentee fathers.

15. Letting the air out of the tires will bend the rims, idiot.

16. Daddy has his own ginormous machete already, Dean. Duh.

17. It was only perfect AFTER she died.

18. Sex wasn't necessary in at least half the scenes with Sam/Ruby. But it was hot nonetheless.

19. The phrase "He's our brother." reminded me of the time Marlena was possessed by Sucubus and John had to preform an exorcism as a fake priest...uh... Never Mind. Wrong show. But it was only for a split second!

20. The description "...psychotically, irrationally, erotically co-dependent on each other" (while accurate) says more about the describer than the describees.

21. You're the shortbus, shortbus.

22. Not only are mini Philly cheese steaks are adorable but also delicious.

23. In a previous life, Dean would like to think he was a ninja, but really, he was a chipmunk. Don't believe me? Watch Tall Tales.

24. The Grimm Brothers were some twisted dudes.

25. I'm waiting on my cigarette, Kripke. With nearly 5 years of the 'scenic' route, it better be something that merits the fattest, honkingest cigar ever!

26. I will always be glad I didn't turn on the lights.

27. Dean is a Trekkie.

28. Bert & Ernie are gay.

29. Vampires don't actually sparkle & (SUPRISE!) have actual fangs.

30. For my money, Dean (as awesome as he is) will always have been wailed on by Paris Hilton.

31. Swirlies don't count if it's in holy toilet water.

32. Apparently, the Bearded Lady is one hot, sexy mama.

33. PAs are like slaves.

34. In moments of deep introspection and quiet self-analysis, I always go back to the age old question "What _WOULD_ Buffy do?"

35. Art imitates Art. In my mind, Sam on a Vespa is irrevocably linked to Homer Simpson and his attempts to nail the Loop-DE-Loop exam at the Krusty the Klown Kollege.

36. Always look for the hex bag(s) BEFORE trying to kill yet another member of the coven.

37. I LOVE "ASTRONUT!!!"

38. I realized I was afraid of wanting to get inside Kripke's head (Supernatural) because of 2 reasons. a) Once I got in, the things rattling around in there would scare me shitless and wouldn't be able to get out b) I'd be scared shitless and wouldn't **want** to get out.

39. Dean's fangirling face shall be forever burned into my memory and is proof positive that he reads slash (just of the Dr. Sexy variety). I mean, why else would he make that face? B]

40. The superpower ability flying is *cough*BORING*cough*.

41. Family is SUPPOSED to make you feel miserable. That makes them family.

42. If I can get my hands on some, I'd love me some yet-to-be Angel Food Cake.

43. John Winchester was a legendary hunter, a somewhat decent mechanic, an ok husband (although the jury's still out on that one) & sucky dad. Meh. You can't win 'em all.

44. Still. Even after all this time, I miss Meg.

45. Doughnuts =/= love

46. Dean is damaged goods...but he's hot...but he's still a mess. He's a hot mess is what I'm saying.

47. Van Nuys, CA is to Holy Ground as Chartreuse is to the new black.

48. The reason Sam keeps a ruler by his bed is so that every morning when he wakes up he can measure how long he sleeps. Hello.

49. It doesn't matter how fantastic or horrible a couple of movies are. If you mention it often enough, my curiosity will _Devour_ them in a _New York Minute_.

50. Gay Love will **ALWAYS** save the day.

51. Although majestically beautiful, BC never stops raining. No really. All the time.

52. I lurve HerpeXia Commericals.

53. I wanna sign up for Ghost Martial Arts. GMA baby! Gee. Emm. Ehh.

54. Clowns kill.

55. Sam's "...potential love interest" and "a potential exchange of bodily fluids" will result in screaming in agony & gnashing of teeth.

56. Make Dean feel like he's needed, and he'll do exactly what you want (albeit he'll take his damn sweet time before he does).

57. After the past few months, (and out of those 3 stooges) Sam is the only one who gets a cookie. Dean? Cas? Write that down.

58. In order to turn a nerd angel with "namby pamby" fighting abilities into a badass killing machine, one must first be killed by an archangel. Then go thru the cosmic angel militia training camp. Obviously. How else do you go from "namby pamby" to killing 2 angels in under 60 seconds? And why couldn't we see any of this training in awesome?

59. Fandom is crazy, truly wicked, over-protective, etc. and I love almost every single one of them.

60. Apparently, Yogalates (or whatever) instructors with wild child pasts can bypass the line to get to heaven during the Apocalypse.

61. Lilith was scarier & creepier as a little girl.

62. In the reruns, watching Sam punch Dean's tear-stained face made me giggle. But only by accident!

63. If Dean wants to take a break from the Apocalypse thingy and hunt the Hukai-po then he CAN do it. All he needs is to be knocked out before he gets there. So break out the horse tranquillizer.

64. The best way to kill Lucifer isn't when the vessel he's settled for is nearing the last stages of completely disintegrating. One must first bitch & moan ad nauseam and emo-out until the douche-meter is hitting red. Then make everyone surrounding him/her want to beat the intelligent back into said person until s/he is Einstein or in the ICU (whichever comes first).

65. Supernatural has never really been about the Winchesters. Now that it's coming down to the wire, that is becoming more and more evident. Kripke mentioned it before a while ago as well.

66. Being a "Sweaty Beast" means only one thing. It's the body's way of saying it needs to be naked. Why it **isn't** happening, I have no clue.

67. AC/DC RULES!!!

68. Apparently, Misha's a whore (but how this was a newsflash or a revelation to anyone defies all logic).

69. Shapeshifters can be just as hot Rebecca Romijn-O'Connell. But just not as smooth when transitioning...and less smurf-like.

70. Dean got wailed on by Paris Hilton. I know I already mentioned it but c'mon. How is that not worth mentioning again?

71. A family-sized bag of M&Ms is an excellent choice of provisions.

72. If you want a paranoid schizophrenic with a narcissistic personality disorder and religious psychosis to learn something, do it through song. Preferably through Schoolhouse Rock.

73. Obviously, Dean's favourite author isn't Kurt Vonnegut, it's Jean de Brunhoff.

74. Although it takes him longer to get ready in the morning, Jared is the MANILIEST of manly men.

75. Ash, Pam and Jesse are more awesome then Dean & Sam sometimes

76. I love long walks on the beach. I'm not an Aquarius but I make up for it as an extra frisky woman.

77. If God can pull Cas out of Cosmic Militia Death Camp, then dammit. Kripke can also pull Gabriel out too. Fair is fair... And everyone knows that God would never play favourites...Shoot. We're uberboned.

78. M. Night Shyamalan needs better PR.

79. Jesse is awesome because why else would Season 6 revolve around him?

80. I don't really care for Bon Jovi, but I fell in love with the first off-key note of "Dead or Alive"

81. It's always better to have faith in your brother. You show you have faith in him, and he may surprise. But you have to give him that chance.

82. Most days I want to give both of the Winchester brothers a home cooked meal & a hug.

83. Douche Nozzle is my new favourite phrase.

84. Even after all this nonsense, Sam has been and always will be the one who keeps me hoping and believing in the Winchesters. 83 Dean?...meh. the jury's still out.

85. The overarching theme of Supernatural isn't pornography or full frontal male nudity (although it's always welcome); it has and always will be "WE LOVE ERIC!!" (aka. Kripke's brainfarts are awesome like whoa)


	2. Addendum

**Author Note**: Due to the upcoming season finale, I did not feel right leaving the lessons at 85. So here is the rest.

* * *

86. Gabriel is my favorite.

87. Chris Angel also needs better PR.

88. Random Ghostfacer commercials dropped into the middle of an episode is not only extremely titillating but also extremely frustrating to those of us who made the grievous error of living outside the US (and therefore, can't get access to the webisodes).

89. In pride and place of Gabriel, Crowley is my new FOREVER favorite. I didn't realize there was a difference; but this is why I'm the student.

90. Chisel Chest is the preferred endearment for addressing a loved one.

91. John Winchester has dimples. Therefore proving that hot apples don't fall very far from the HAWT tree.

92. Steve Jobs is the man because due to deliciously evil promo clips, Supernatural has given Apple the greatest endorsement for the iPhone camera ever. Not only proving its ease of use but also the glowing stamp of demonic approval. Well done.

93. Although my forever favorite, I must remember lesson #3. Was it just me or did Brody (or w/e) accept Crowley's swashbuckling antics a little **_too_** quickly?

94. Happy Hour at the Sonny Buono lounge makes my eyes tear up bit. But it also my heart smile.

95. Banana Daiquiri is the new "It" drink for 2010.

96. If Buffy can't lead me to the path of enlightenment, all I need to do is just take a deep breath and calm the whirlwinds of my mind.

97. When being a badass, one must be a badass and hardcore until the tantalizingly bitter end. Therefore, fandom must give props to Bobby Singer for going French when he didn't have to. Bon travail, mon nounours. Je t'aime bien sûr. ... Mais j'adore Crowley le mieux. 8D

98. Although the fiercest of fierce demi-gods, Kali's facial expression and body language (when she was about to fight Nick/Lucifer) reminded me of a 2 yr old imitating Crazy!Azula with fire whips. FLAME ON Firebender! Absolutely adorable. :3

99. If one comes from hell, and knows of the "King of the Crossroads", it must also be assumed that one knows all the accoutrements at his disposal. Therefore, it must be known that Crowley has a Herculean-sized Hellhound in his stable. So if one nearly gets their ass handed to them by Crowley and then sends a smaller hound (in retribution) thinking it'll kill Crowley and his pup, then one must accept the consequences of this asinine logic. In other words: I smell shenanigans. …and I like it. B]

100. Since it took nearly 5 seasons for us to Sympathize with the Devil, does that mean it'll take another 5 before we realize that God is one of us? Just a stranger on the bus trying to find her way home? 10 years of Supernatural? Like Gunsmoke or Bonanza, only better. And, of course, with the obligatory assless chaps. Win/win really.


End file.
